10 Questions That Will Transform Your Marriage or Partnership

How’s Your Love Life?

Want to Build a Stronger Relationship with your current partner? Find some uninterrupted time together, take turns asking and answering the following questions, and reconnect in ways you never dreamed possible!

1. First Met – Think back to when we first met and fell in love.  What was it that attracted you to me?  Tell me the story of how you first fell in love with me.

2. Peak Experience – Throughout our relationship we’ve had many ups and downs, high points and low points. Think back to a high point.  A time that stands out as a great period or experience in our relationship.  Tell me about that time and what it was that made it such a high point for you.

3. Felt In-Love – We’ve shared many experiences and have been through so much in our ___ years together. Think of a time through all of this when you felt really in-love with me, really close. When was that? Why do you think you felt this way during this time?

4. Conflict – In the course of any relationship there are times when people disagree or see things differently. This is a normal, healthy part of being human.  Can you think of a time in our relationship when we disagreed, or saw things differently, and were able to successfully work it out?  What is it about this situation that that makes you consider it a success?  Let’s look even more closely at this – what specifically did each of us do to make it work?

5. Intimacy – Now I’d like to shift into a more personal realm and talk about intimacy. As you think back on it, what stands out as one of the high points for you, and why was it such a high point?

6. Core Values – Both of us have some really great qualities and I want to talk about these.

  • Without being humble, what is it you value most about yourself?
  • What is it you value most about me?
  • What do you value most about our relationship?

7. Best Practices – As you think about our partnership overall, what do you think are some of our “best practices” or things we do well?

8. Life Giving Factor – We’ve been through so much together.  We’ve struggled through difficult situations and shared some incredible moments together.  As you think through all this, what do you think is at the base or foundation of our relationship?  What is the core life giving factor of our partnership that makes it work?

9. Wishes for Future – Now we get to explore the future together.  Imagine that it’s ten years from now and our relationship has become everything and more than you could have ever dreamed.  If you had three wishes for our future together, what would they be?

10. Actions – What one thing could you do right now, no matter how small, that would help move us in the future of this ideal relationship you described?

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Jackie Kelm
The Joy Engineer
Appreciative Living, LLC
This Stuff Really Works!

"The exercises soon became a wonderful part of my day, setting it up in a positive and grateful way that carried throughout the day.

When I am running late and do not do them, my day seems to be off track and full of challenges."

Rita D., Ashland, Ohio


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